Happiness is the goal of life.
We all want to be happy.
Everything we do, going to work, dating, getting married, making friends, having kids, is because we believe these things will make us happy.
But then, happiness isn’t just about adding good things to your life.
Sometimes it’s about removing the bad habits that are quietly stealing your joy without you even realizing it.
If you want to be happy in life, eliminating these three habits will make all the difference:
Checking Social Media First Thing in the Morning
Everyone has a smartphone these days, and I won’t lie, it’s been a blessing; in fact, I wrote the first draft of this post on my phone.
However, it can also be a curse if we’re not careful.
The smartphone is not the problem here but what we do with it.
I used to pick up my phone first thing in the morning before I even sat up properly in bed or said my prayers.
I was already scrolling.
Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok (so addictive!), WhatsApp status updates, and of course, my favorite app, Pinterest.
I was even subscribed to the New York Times and would get news notifications of all the terrible things they happened in the world while I was asleep.
And you know what that did?
It messed up my entire day before it even started!
Imagine being already in a bad mood before the day started because of other people’s perfect lives on social media and the bad things happening in the world.
So I made a rule for myself: no phone for at least the first thirty minutes after I wake up.
Instead, I pray, thanking God for another day, and read my Bible.
Because I’m human and not perfect, sometimes I pick up my phone immediately I open my eyes.
But I don’t go down the rabbit hole of scrolling through social media.
I catch myself early enough and drop my phone.
Even when I don’t pray or read my Bible, I just sit in silence with my coffee and plan my day.
Some mornings, I play with my kids before they go to school.
I’m more present in my own life instead of living in everyone else’s, and the difference is incredible!
Complaining About Things I’m Not Willing to Change
After carrying two heavy pregnancies and going through two Cesarean sections, my body is no longer the same.
No thanks to social media, our body image issues keep getting worse because we compare ourselves to women who’ve either never had children, or who have personal trainers and chefs, or who’ve had surgery to bounce back.
So yes, I love my children to bits, but I also mourn the body I used to have, and for the longest time, I complained about it constantly.
Every time I looked in the mirror or tried on clothes.
While I was complaining non-stop, I wasn’t doing anything about it.
I was just complaining and making myself miserable.
I realize that complaining is exhausting, so it’s either I do something about it or make peace with it.
I kinda did both.
So, I’m not actively exercising yet.
It’s winter and it’s been snowing heavily, so I don’t get to walk as I would have loved to, and I work from home.
But I do intermittent fasting unintentionally.
I don’t eat too much and I do a lot of portion control.
I’ve embraced my body and love it because it’s the only one I’ve got.
I don’t have another. 😁
Chronic complaining without action is a happiness killer, and I’m done complaining about things I’m not willing to change.
Saying Yes When I Really Want to Say No
I wrote here about how I learned to say no and it’s been life-changing.
I won’t say I’m a people pleaser, but I have a large heart and I genuinely want to help people when they need me.
The problem was saying yes to everything and everyone, even when I didn’t have the capacity.
I usually said yes because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone but I ended up resentful and stretched so thin that I wasn’t good for anyone, not for myself or my family.
Yes, God wants us to do good and He rewards good works, but not the ones that come with resentment.
Now, I own my kindness and my “yes”.
So, learning to say no has been one of the hardest but most important things I’ve done for my happiness.
Learning to say no has been one of the hardest but most important things I’ve done for my happiness.
I had to be honest with myself that I had a “Messiah Complex” and the thought that if I didn’t help someone, they’d be in trouble.
But I’m not God.
God is the only one who can help everyone.
Do I still help?
Absolutely!
But I now say no without drowning in guilt when I don’t.
My life is so much lighter.
Saying no isn’t selfish; it’s self-preservation.
And it’s necessary if you want to be happy.
If you can relate to these three habits, I encourage you to eliminate them like I did if you want to be happy in life.
I’m rooting for you!