I used to think that if you’re pretty, then you’re automatically attractive.
Oh well, I was wrong.
There are women society will call gorgeous, you know, with glowing skin, symmetrical features, curves in the right places, the whole package, and yet there’s nothing magnetic about them.
Yet there are women who aren’t conventionally pretty, but they’re irresistible.
Everyone listens to them, wants them around, and wants to do things for them.
So, what’s the difference?
Pretty is what you see, while attractive is what you feel.
Let me explain:
Pretty Is About Your Face, Attractive Is About Your Energy
Most times, being pretty is a gift.
Just like the Bible says ”the gift of God are without repentance”, such is pretty.
Your parents gave you the genetic lottery, the features you inherited, that society considers beautiful.
You didn’t have to work for it.
And yes, it opens doors.
Hello, pretty privilege!
I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t matter because it does.
But then, pretty is passive.
You didn’t earn it; all you have to do is maintain what you were given.
And it’s okay. It’s a great privilege to be pretty, if I’m being honest.
Attractiveness, however, is something you cultivate through your intelligence, confidence, a good sense of humour, kindness, and excellence.
You can be pretty and not attractive, and you can be attractive without being pretty.
Pretty Women Get Approached, Attractive Women Get Pursued
If anyone tells you that looks don’t matter, and it’s inner beauty that keeps a man, look into their eyes and call them a liar.
Don’t do that, obviously. lol
But seriously, looks matter.
Of course, they do; we’re visual creatures.
Physical attraction is real, and it’s usually the first thing that draws someone to you.
That’s why pretty women get approached all the time.
Men see them across the room and shoot their shot.
They get compliments, free drinks, and DMs sliding into their inbox at 2 AM.
But being approached and being pursued aren’t the same.
Pretty gets you the initial interest, like a guy sees you, thinks you’re gorgeous, and makes his move.
But getting him to stay?
You need more than pretty, darling.
That’s why you see a lot of pretty women get dumped by men while the ”not-so-pretty” get the men.
Like good men, your spec.
I know the dating market is a ghetto right now, and there are more players than men who are serious and want commitment.
But that’s a subject for another day.
I’m talking about men who want to pursue a relationship for real.
When your looks pique their interest, and after getting close, they see there’s nothing beneath the surface, he loses interest just as quickly as he gained it.
And you’re confused because you think looks should be enough.
Nah.
I remember my days as an undergraduate in Uni, I had a classmate who wasn’t conventionally pretty, but had my men flocking around her.
When we had to work together during our clinical posting as nurses, I realized why.
She was a bubbly soul; there was never a dull moment with her.
She was also good at her job, and all the patients liked her.
I even loved working with her and wasn’t happy when she was transferred to another department.
That’s been attractive!
It gets you pursued.
That’s why men don’t just approach attractive women.
They want to know them, not just be seen with them, because attractive women make you feel something.
A man can approach a pretty woman and forget her name by next week, but he’ll still be thinking about an attractive woman months later, trying to figure out how to secure his place in her life because she’s worth the effort.
Pretty Fades, Attractive Gets Stronger
The beauty industry is a multi-million dollar industry because everyone wants to stay young forever.
“Forever young, I wanna be forever young…” 🎵
What about the cosmetic industry?
Plastic surgeons are currently smiling all the way to the bank.
See, everyone wants to hold onto pretty for as long as possible.
Even I do. 🙈
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good and doing what makes you feel confident.
But the truth is, pretty has an expiration date.
No matter how good your genes are and how much you invest in skincare and procedures, time is undefeated.
Eventually, the things that made you conventionally pretty will change.
Your skin will wrinkle, hair will gray, and body will soften.
That’s just life.
And if all you’ve built your identity on is being pretty, aging is going to be terrifying for you.
That’s why you should aim for attractive because it gets stronger with age.
The confidence you build and the stories and experiences that make you interesting…….all of that compounds over time.
A lot of women in their 50s and 60s are more attractive now than they were at 25.
Take care of your appearance, look good, feel good, do what makes you confident, but don’t make it your whole identity.
Don’t bank everything on staying pretty.
The women who age gracefully and remain irresistible aren’t the ones fighting time with every procedure available.
They’re the ones who invested in becoming interesting, confident, wise, and magnetic.
They understand that pretty might open the door, but attractive is what keeps people in the room.
So, develop yourself, be interesting, have a life, have something going on that makes you more than just a pretty face.