Whenever I hear “fake it till you make it,” I roll my eyes so hard.
If you are self-critical and expect so much from yourself like me, then the word “fake” will not sit well with you, no matter how empowering it sounds.
Everyone is probably already faking it anyway in this age of social media, where perception is reality; in fact, perception is more important than reality.
It’s why a broke ass person in real life can pose as a wealthy business owner on social media, and we’ll eat it up.
I know someone whose marriage was at the brink of a divorce but was sharing cute stories about her marriage, to the envy and admiration of her followers.
So, “fake it till you make it” doesn’t have a good reputation like “be yourself” because it sounds like advice for liars and pretenders and a shortcut for people who don’t want to do the real work.
But then, I’m starting to think that maybe “fake it till you make it” isn’t bad after all, because if you’re humble enough, you’d notice some people you thought weren’t all that are now becoming all that because they acted like they were all that.
No kidding.
Have you seen people less talented, less qualified, and maybe not as pretty as you, walk into rooms with unshakeable confidence, command great attention on social media while you keep waiting until you feel ready?
If you pay attention, you’ll realise that “fake it till you make it” isn’t bad advice; most people are only faking it wrong.
They’re faking it for other people when they should be practicing for themselves, and they are two different things, with different results.
Faking it wrong is pretending to know things you don’t, pretending to have things you don’t, or bluffing your way through situations that require real skill.
That version of “fake it till you make it” will embarrass you and catch up with you because people will see through it faster than you think.
Not even in this cancel culture, where people are looking for whom to cancel, just like the devil is looking for whom to devour.
But you can fake it right, and that’s the one I think imma be doing for myself from now on.
Faking it right means you act from the identity of who you’re becoming before you fully feel like her.
And that starts from knowing who you want to be.
How and where do you see yourself?
If you don’t know this, then you’ll be “faking it” the wrong way.
Let’s say, for instance, you want to be a successful business owner.
You have to think and study the women who have become what you want to be.
How do they move, how do they think, walk, work, dress, network, and all that?
Then you start doing those things, even before the clients come and before the money comes.
You dress like her. I always encourage women to dress like their future, not their circumstances.
You speak like her, and carry yourself like a woman whose business is already working even when your account is telling a different story.
You’re not deceiving anyone; you’re training yourself to become her.
You’re building the identity first so that when the results finally show up, they’re meeting someone who was already ready for them.
That’s what people don’t do when they’re “faking it.”
They want the results before they’re willing to become the person.
But it doesn’t work that way.
The becoming has to come first.
There’s even a name for it in science: it’s called behavioral activation.
The idea that action creates feeling, not the other way around.
Have you ever felt like not exercising, then you start anyway, regardless of how you’re feeling, and you end up liking it?
Exactly!
Sometimes you don’t like someone, but you’re nice to them anyway, and before you know it, you end up liking them.
So also you don’t wait to feel confident before you act confident.
You act confident until your brain catches up and says, okay, this is just who we are now.
You walk into the meeting like you belong there because you’re training your brain to believe that you do.
You introduce yourself with confidence even when your knees are shaking.
You say yes to the opportunity before you feel 100% ready, because readiness is a lie we tell ourselves to stay comfortable.
As I’m planning to put myself out there as a music artist this year, I need this advice more than ever.
Because it’s one thing to write and record beautiful songs, it is another thing to release them, and also another thing to call yourself an artist out loud.
Do you know how vulnerable that feels?
To consider yourself a music artist when you don’t have a million streams yet.
That’s where this whole “fake it till you make it” conversation becomes real.
Because if I wait until I feel fully confident, have the perfect team, and wait until everything is polished and flawless, I may never move, sis.
That’s the reality.
But I’ve decided that I’m not going to wait until I feel like one before I start moving like one.
I’m going to study the artists I admire, talk about my music like it matters, because it does, even on days my confidence is nowhere to be found.
I’m going to dress the part, own the identity, and let my brain catch up later.
Not for the gram or to impress anyone, but for me.
I have potential to fulfil and maximise.
Maybe this is what “fake it till you make it” was always trying to say — stop waiting for permission from your feelings.
Think about it spiritually, faith is literally faking it till you make it.
You pray for something you can’t see yet and thank God for a breakthrough that hasn’t arrived.
You act as if you have it already, calling things that are not as though they are.
Are you feeling me?
Come on now.
That’s not delusion. That’s faith in motion.
I have to emphasize that faking it right requires humility.
Even the Bible says, “faith without works is dead.”
So, you must still do the work.
You can’t just dress like a CEO and refuse to learn business strategy.
You can’t call yourself a writer and refuse to write.
Keep putting in the work, and one day, you won’t have to fake it anymore because somewhere along the way, without even noticing, you made it.
If this blessed you, share with someone you care about!