Happiness is the point of life.
You’re either a happy woman, or you’re not; there’s no in-between.
Women who are genuinely happy, not the fake Instagram happy, I mean the truly happy ones, are definitely doing something right.
They’re not living perfect lives with no problems, nah.
In fact, many of them have been through hell and back, but they’ve developed habits that protect their peace and keep them grounded no matter what life throws at them.
How To Cultivate Happiness in Your Life as a Woman: 5 Habits of Happy Women
1. They Don’t Derive Their Entire Identity From One Thing
I always encourage women to have different things that give them joy and identity.
Yes, it’s fine to be a wife, or a mom, or a career woman, or all of the above.
But when that becomes the only thing you are, it’s scary, because what happens when that one thing changes or disappears?
Some women completely lose themselves when their kids grow up and leave home because “mom” was all they were.
I’ve been away from my kids for three weeks now, and while I miss them terribly, I ask myself what I’d do when the empty nest comes.
It’s a reality check for me, even though I’m other things apart from being a mom.
Some women fall apart after divorce because “wife” was their entire identity, and now they don’t know who they are without a husband.
When you put all your identity eggs in one basket, you become fragile.
One change in that area and your entire sense of self collapses.
Happy women are multifaceted.
They can be wives, mothers, or career women, but they’re also friends, daughters, business owners, creatives, volunteers, whatever lights them up.
They have hobbies, passions, goals, and a network that have nothing to do with their children and husband.
They’ve built a life with multiple pillars, so when one area is struggling, the others hold them steady.
Dear woman, you’re a complete person with different facets, not just one role.
I write, I sing, I’m building businesses, I’m a wife, a mom, a daughter, a loyal friend, and I’m a Christian. I have hobbies I’m passionate about.
And when one of those areas is hard, the others remind me that I’m still me.
See, the more you embrace all the parts of yourself, the more stable and fulfilled you become because your joy isn’t dependent on one thing going right.
It’s spread across a life you’ve intentionally built to be rich and full.
2. They Don’t Let Social Media Steal Their Joy
In this day and age, everyone and their grandma has a smartphone.
We literally spend an awful amount of time scrolling through other people’s lives, and no matter how content and mature you are, you’ll find yourself, at least momentarily, comparing your real life to the content you view.
It’s inevitable.
That’s why women who want to be happy in life recognize this trap and refuse to fall into it.
They understand that social media is a curated reality, not the real reality.
Nobody ever tells you the whole story, so you never know what goes on behind closed doors, just everyone showing you their best angles and hiding their struggles.
And when you forget that, you will never feel like you’re enough.
I’ve had to set serious boundaries with social media for this exact reason.
I hired a VA to reply to comments when I post on any of my social media platforms, and believe me, I’ve never been happier.
I mostly now enjoy social media for entertainment and inspiration, and it’s going to stay that way.
3. They Take Care of Their Bodies Without Obsessing Over Perfection
After carrying two heavy pregnancies and birthing two kids via Cesarean section, my body is no longer the same.
There are stretch marks, loose skin, a flabby belly, and, of course, I gained a few pounds.
Even though I’m grateful for the bigger boobs I got from pregnancy, they are not as perky as they were before pregnancy.
But I love my children more than life, I mean, I have two whole humans!
I’ve made peace with the fact that my body will never be the way it used to be, but that doesn’t mean I’ve given up on taking care of myself.
Accepting your body and neglecting it are two different things, and the happiest women know how strike a balance.
They take care of their bodies, they move, eat well, rest, but they’re not obsessed with looking like they did at 25 or fitting into some impossible standard they saw on Instagram.
I’ve embraced my body as I don’t have another body waiting in the wings. š
This is it, so I might as well take care of it and appreciate what it’s done for me.
Because one sure way to be an unhappy woman is to be at war with your body, hating it and obsessing over it to the point of misery.
4. They’ve Mastered the Art of Saying No Without Guilt
I wrote a whole article about this, and it’s been one of the most popular posts on my blog because so many women struggle with this.
I won’t say I’m a people pleaser, I just love people and love helping, but I’ve realized there are downsides to kindness.
So, I’ve learned the uncomfortable habit of saying no without feeling guilty about it, andĀ it’s been life-changing.
If you want to prioritize your happiness, understand that “no” is a complete sentence and every “yes” to something you don’t want is a “no” to something you want, like your time, energy, peace, and even money!
God wants us to do good, and He rewards kindness, but not the ones that come with resentment.
Because you’ll definitely be resentful, saying yes when you really want to say no.
A major key to happiness is the ability to protect your resources (whatever that is) without feeling guilty about it.
Because you’ll finally be living your life on your own terms instead of constantly bending yourself to meet everyone else’s expectations.
5. They Don’t Compete With Other Women
Everyone close to me knows my motto is “women supporting women.”
I see other women as my sisters, not my competition, and I genuinely want to see them thrive.
I’ve come to understand that no matter where you are in life, there’ll always be other women who are prettier, richer, healthier, more influential, more successful, and literally have more than you.
And there will also be women you’re doing better than.
So what’s the point of competing?
It’s exhausting, and it steals your joy.
When I see a woman winning, I genuinely celebrate her.
I comment on her posts, patronize her, follow her on social media, and share her work if it’s good.
Happy women don’t see other women as competition because they’re too busy focusing on their own journey.
They’re secure enough in themselves to celebrate other women without feeling threatened because they believeĀ there’s room for everyone to win.