One of the saddest things that can happen to you is to have a life but be too busy surviving it to enjoy it.

Your life doesn’t even need to be terrible for this to happen.

You can have a job, a family, a roof over your head, and do everything you’re supposed to be doing, yet most days feel like one long list of things you need to get through.

Of course, adulthood comes with responsibilities.

There will be seasons when enjoyment isn’t at the top of the agenda because you’re trying to keep your head above water.

But that shouldn’t become your entire existence.

Here are five signs you have forgotten how to enjoy living: 

Signs You’re Surviving Your Life Instead of Enjoying It

1. You’re Always Waiting for Something to Be Over

Every Friday, you see people, especially those who hate their jobs, posting TGIF memes and celebrating as if they have just been released from prison. 😂

I know there is something delicious about Friday evening when you know you don’t have to wake up early the next morning.

But imagine spending five days every week waiting for two days to arrive.

Monday comes, and you’re already counting down to Friday.

You get to work and start counting down until closing time.

There’s always something you’re trying to get through.

It’s scary because the things you’re constantly wishing would hurry up and end are your actual life.

Of course, some seasons are difficult, and all you can do is survive them.

But if you’re always living for the next thing, you’re missing the life you’re living right now.

You can’t keep postponing enjoyment until life becomes completely stress-free.

That day may never come.

Sometimes you have to find little things worth enjoying on an ordinary day. 

2. You Can’t Remember the Last Time You Did Something Just Because You Enjoyed It

See, much of adulthood is doing what you gotta do, not because you enjoy doing it.

I don’t particularly enjoy paying bills, cleaning up after myself, sitting in traffic, or handling a hundred little responsibilities, but apparently adulthood didn’t ask for my opinion. 

There will always be things we do because they need to be done.

The problem is when everything in your life falls into that category.

You wake up because you have to go to work.

You exercise because you need to lose weight.

You cook because everybody needs to eat.

You attend events because you don’t want people to complain.

You call people because you feel guilty if you don’t.

Even things that were supposed to be enjoyable become productive.

Everything has an assignment attached to it.

When was the last time you did something just because you liked doing it?

Not because it would make you more productive, or a better whatever. 

Just because it made you happy.

You should have parts of your life that don’t produce anything except enjoyment.

If every waking moment is dedicated to responsibilities, improvement, and survival, you may become very good at running your life while forgetting to actually live it.

3. You Rarely Have Anything You’re Looking Forward To

You may hate your job, but there should be at least something in your life that you look forward to.

And it doesn’t have to be a vacation to Santorini or some huge life-changing event.

I look forward to recording my songs in the studio.

I look forward to my morning coffee. 

I look forward to getting my clothes back from my tailor.

I look forward to seeing my children after school.

I look forward to gisting with my BFF.

I look forward to eating good food.

I look forward to settling down to watch one of my favorite series.

Currently, it’s The Mentalist, and please don’t disturb me while I’m trying to figure out how Patrick Jane is going to outsmart everyone again. 😂

I’m listing all these things to show you how ordinary most of them are.

That’s the point.

A good life isn’t made up only of vacations and huge accomplishments.

Most of your life will happen on very ordinary days.

And those days need little pockets of anticipation too.

Like a meal you’re planning to order on Friday, the friend you plan to call later, a package that’s coming, your evening walk, a book you’re enjoying, seeing your spouse after a long day…

Even climbing into your bed at night can be something to look forward to when your mattress is doing the Lord’s work. 

When you’re merely surviving your life, that sense of anticipation disappears.

Nothing excites you anymore.

You wake up, do what needs to be done, sleep, and repeat.

4. You Feel Like Everyone Constantly Needs Something From You

It’s tough to enjoy life if everyone takes from you and no one pours back into you.

Someone always needs something.

Your boss needs that work done; children need your attention; your spouse needs you; your parents need you; your friends need you.

Some of these things are part of life.

I love my family, but love doesn’t make responsibility disappear.

When you become so used to being needed that your entire life becomes about what you can do for everybody else, you can’t enjoy life. 

And this can understandably lead to resentment. 

It’s not that you don’t love the people in your life.

You’re just tired of constantly being useful.

You need moments when you’re not carrying anything for anybody.

So, sometimes you need to start saying no.

If everybody constantly gets a piece of you and you never keep anything for yourself, eventually there won’t be much of you left to enjoy your own life.

5. You Can’t Answer the Question, “What Makes You Happy?”

Everyone, no matter how miserable their life is, has something that makes them happy.

So if someone asks you, “What makes you happy?” and you can’t think of anything, watch it. 

And I’m not talking about giving some deep, philosophical answer about the meaning of life.

Simple things count.

For me, having a good relationship with God makes me happy, and my children’s happiness makes me happy.

Buying things makes me happy. 😂 I think every woman can relate to this. 

Good food makes me happy. 

The point is, you should know what lights you up.

Unfortunately, when you’ve been surviving for a long time, you become disconnected from that part of yourself.

You know what needs to be done and what everybody expects from you.

But what about you?

What makes you happy?

What makes you feel alive?

What can turn an ordinary day into a good one for you?

And please don’t dismiss something because it sounds silly or materialistic.

If fresh flowers make you happy, they make you happy.

If dressing beautifully, like me, makes you happy, wonderful.

Knowing what makes you happy doesn’t mean you’ll always be happy.

But if you can’t name even a few things that bring you joy anymore, you’ve spent so long trying to survive your life that you’ve lost touch with the things that make it worth enjoying.

 

I don’t believe anybody enjoys their life every single day.

Some days are beautiful, and some are stressful.

But there should still be things in your life that remind you that you’re not here to fulfill responsibilities. 

There should be laughter and things you look forward to.