While I understand that pride and ego can ruin a beautiful relationship, what I will be talking about here is not about that.
Yes, there are times you need to rub your man’s head and caress his ego and make him feel like the best thing since sliced bread in order to get him do some things for you
However, there are some things I believe you shouldn’t constantly beg a man for.
If there’s anything I’ve come to understand about men, it’s that they know what they’re doing.
I don’t care how “men are babies”, these grown-ass adults know what they’re doing.
So, don’t beg a man for these things:
1. Respect
A man can love you and not respect you because these dudes like to test boundaries. And that’s where you come in, teaching him how to treat you, and letting him know what you’ll accept and not accept.
So when you do that, and a man still doesn’t respect you, I hope you know what you’re signing up for: a lifetime of constant disregard.
Because if you are constantly begging him not to insult you, not to speak to you like you’re his enemy, not to embarrass you in public, not to belittle your opinions, not to call you names during arguments, that is a character issue.
A man who truly respects you does not need weekly reminders to act like it.
Flowers and “baby, you know I love you” mean very little if every argument turns into verbal violence.
You should never have to beg a man to treat you like a human being. That is the bare minimum, not a relationship milestone.
2. Consistency
Of course, people are busy. We all have responsibilities. But inconsistency has a smell, and women know it.
There’s “I’m having a hectic week.” And then there’s “I only remember you when I’m bored, lonely, horny, or in need.” Those are not the same thing.
A man who wants to be in your life in a real way will not make you feel like a seasonal subscription. He will not disappear for three days, come back with “I’ve just been busy,” and expect you to clap because he sent one dry “hey.”
Please. A smart woman does not beg for regular communication and effort.
If a man keeps saying, “I’m not good at texting,” but he can post online, chat in group chats, reply to his friends, and monitor football updates with Olympic-level commitment, then he’s not that into you.
As I wrote earlier, these men know what they are doing. This same man will suddenly step up with another lady he likes. The lady will not need to beg him to be serious.
So, stop making excuses for him and pay attention to patterns, not just the chemistry of “when we’re together it feels magical.”
Consistency is what makes relationships what they should be. Without it, you’ll keep living on emotional rollercoasters and calling it love.
3. Honesty
”Hurt me with the truth, don’t comfort me with a lie.”
I live by this quote. I hate lying with passion because to me, it’s an insult to my intelligence. You think you can fool me and think I won’t know when you’re being shady? Come on now.
A relationship where you have to investigate everything, cross-check stories, and piece timelines together as if you work for the FBI will exhaust you. Love should not require detective skills.
Dishonesty is not just about cheating, even though that is a major issue. Lying also involves
- lying about where he is
- lying about money
- lying about his intentions
- lying about other women
- lying about “small things” and calling you dramatic for noticing
The problem with begging for honesty is that even when he finally tells you something, you won’t know if it’s the truth or just the version that keeps you quiet.
A smart woman would rather deal with a painful truth than build her life on comfortable lies because lies steal more than trust. They steal your peace and sense of reality.
If a man is committed to deception, no amount of begging will turn him into an honest man. At best, it will make him a better liar.
4. Faithfulness
If you have reached the point where you are pleading with a grown man not to cheat or entertain other women, what exactly are you trying to preserve?
Because faithfulness is a value, not something you beg out of someone.
If you don’t value faithfulness as a person, there’s nothing anyone can say or do that’ll make you faithful.
I know some women stay and work through betrayal, so this is not me judging women who are rebuilding after infidelity.
But I’m saying a smart woman never turns faithfulness into something she has to market herself for.
You should not have to become prettier, quieter, sexier, richer, or more accommodating just to convince a man to do what his character should already be doing.
A cheating man often wants to make his choices sound like your failure.
“If you were more this…” “If you didn’t do that…”
No. Let adults take responsibility for their behavior.
A smart woman can forgive if she chooses, but she does not beg a man to stop dishonoring her. Faithfulness is not a luxury add-on. It is part of the foundation.
5. Public Acknowledgment
I’ve always written that privacy is different from secrecy. Not everybody wants to post their relationship online every market day.
But if a man is serious about you and committed to you, you won’t be a secret.
As a smart woman, pay attention to how a man positions you. Does he speak about you with pride? Do the people close to him know you exist?
Or you are in a permanent “let’s just keep this between us” arrangement while he enjoys all the benefits of your loyalty?
Please shine your eyes. A man who is genuinely building with you does not need to be forced to acknowledge you.
Again, I don’t mean social media validation. I’m referring to real-life positioning.
6. A Place in His Future
I started watching ‘‘Blue Therapy” on Netflix, and the couple that pissed me off the most are Maria and Viktor.
And apparently, everyone is pissed as well, because girl, how can you be begging a man you’ve been with for 7 years to take you seriously and marry you?
I don’t understand it.
Some men enjoy present comfort and future freedom. They want your loyalty now, but when it comes to long-term vision, they become blurry.
“Let’s not pressure things.” “Why do you always want to talk about the future?”
The man doesn’t want to. If he wanted to, he would!
Yes, a man does not have to have every detail figured out, but if he is serious, there will be evidence that he sees you in the picture.
A smart woman does not beg to be chosen one day while being treated like a placeholder today.
She does not wait forever in a relationship that keeps moving emotionally but goes nowhere intentionally.
Love without direction will waste your best years! Except, of course, you don’t mind.
Stay smart, sis! Because I’m rooting for you.